續《流氓國家》翻譯評論(09)

原文(p.3第四段)：
He goes on to report that within two months some 6,000 people had been killed. The numbers reached about 200,000 within a few years, thanks to increasing military support from the US, joined by Britain as atrocities peaked in 1978. Their support continued through 1999, as Kopassus commandos, armed and trained by the US, organized “Operation Clean Sweep” from January, killing 3,000 to 5,000 people by August, according g to credible church sources, later expelling 750,000 people—85 percent of the population—and virtually destroying the country. Throughout, the Clinton administration kept to its stand that “it is the responsibility of the government of Indonesia, and we don’t want to take it away from them.” Under mounting domestic and international (primarily Australian) pressure, Washington finally indicated to the Indonesian generals that the game was over. They quickly reversed course, announcing their withdrawal, an indication of the latent power that had always been available.
譯文(p.004第二段)：
他繼續說明，在兩個月內，有六萬民眾遭到屠殺。幾年之內，遇害民眾更達到二十萬人之譜。這得感謝美國增加的軍事援助，而英國的加入使得整個暴行在一九七八年時達到了最高峰。他們的援助持續到一九九九年，接受美國武裝訓練的印尼特種部隊(Kopassus Commandos)自一月起組織執行的「淨空行動」(Operation Clean Sweep)。根據可信的教會消息來源指出，到了八月已屠殺了三千到五千名民眾，之後並且驅趕七十五萬名當地的居民─占人口的百分之八十五─等於消滅了這個國家。柯林頓(Clinton)政府從頭到尾保持它一貫的立場，亦即「這是印尼政府的責任，而我們不希望為他們減輕罪責」。由於國內與國際(主要是澳洲)壓力的高漲，華盛頓方面終於指示印尼的將領終止戰事。他們很快地倒轉之前的論調，宣佈撤軍，象徵著一個隨時可以運作的潛在權威。

討論：
「六萬」民眾應為「六千」民眾。這裡的”thanks to”不是「得感謝」─幹嘛感謝美國軍援印尼軍隊屠殺東帝汶民眾呢?這一個片語譯成這樣太差勁了。”thanks to” 中文最接近的話是「拜…之賜」，意思是「由於…的緣故」。”Operation Clean Sweep”譯為「淨空行動」有待商榷；譯為「清掃行動」不是恰如其分嗎?「我們不希望為他們減輕罪責」是譯者自作聰明的解釋。蓋柯林頓政府所謂責任並非指屠殺東帝汶人民的「罪責」，而是指(當年)整個東帝汶的情勢是由印尼政府自行負責─此乃柯林頓政府「撇清」之言也。最後，原文並不是說華盛頓方面指示印尼將領終止戰事，而是告訴印尼將領 “the game was over” 。你說這不是差不多嗎?當然差很多。一個是終止戰事，一個是整個遊戲結束，當然不一樣。作者以”the game was over”敘述此事，這樣的遣詞用字是諷刺的語調。譯者有責任將作者這樣的意味不多不少的表現出來。接著，美國迅速轉向，宣布撤退─不是「撤軍」。「象徵著一個隨時可以運作的潛在權威」這一句不知所云。作者的意思是，美國宣布撤退無異於不打自招，顯露了其實一直潛藏在後面的”the (latent) power”。”available”在這裡譯成「隨時可以運作」太過簡略，變成現在式；其實這個字在這裡既然擺在完成式”the power that had been available”裡面，那麼就該譯為「一直潛藏在那裏的…」，那個意思，那個「味道」才對。(流9，待續)